Natasha Jade

This is the last time I will be boring you with the issues in my life, at least for 2014 anyway.  First of all, MERRY CHRISTMAS! i know its a little late but we’re still within the 12 days of Christmas so I think its okay. Is it seven swans a swimming? My friend Jack should know. Since my last post not a great deal has happened in the shape of progress with this pointless illness. I’ve barely seen my doctor since last time which I’m sure they are pretty happy about. I’ve come to realise there isn’t much point until after the keyhole surgery in the new year anyway as they don’t know what to do next.  In a way I’m hoping they do find something because then I know what the hell is going on. Also I’m hoping it isn't Endometriosis and that I’m able to have kids in the future but then I won’t have any idea what is wrong with me in that case. One thing for sure is that I am absolutely petrified about the surgery. I don’t care what anyone says, it may be only keyhole surgery b

It's been a while since I've posted anything mainly cause I've been in the worst possible place since this whole stupid illness started.  That place has mainly been my bedroom. My bedroom is at the front of my house with a gaping big bay window for all to see in but these past two months you can't see past the layers of blinds and curtains that have remained closed and I've developed an unhealthy obsession with Prison Break. The only reason I seem to have left my home is to visit a doctor or therapists or for a blood test. If they had a loyalty card I'd be on my second or third this year. I'm not sure what you'd get for having been so many times, maybe a fast pass to the front of the queue on busy days? Although I wouldn't need that I think me and mum have the timing cracked.  Well, at the end of September I went to Florida again, but this time we took a little extra baggage in the form of my auntie and two baby cousins (yes Megan and Chr

So as I said last time, this post is all about my appointment with the Gynaecologist 3 weeks ago now. I turned up with my mum as I do to every appointment, yes I am 21 but sometimes it's a lot to take in and if I can't concentrate or things get upsetting it's best to have R'Pam there. Anyway, as we waited half an hour past the appointment time we sat starving the death watching cooking shows in the waiting room, (if people aren't miserable enough in hospitals) we thought this would probably be another waste of time not being taken seriously.  When we finally went through to see the doctor she took down my symptoms and lifestyle questions. My symptoms covered nearly all of Endometriosis' symptoms and the doctors first thought was Endo. She then went on to explain about ultrasounds and different forms of contraception as this is a way of coping with Endo. Then I was told about the laparoscopy that would happen, basically keyhole surgery and that if the

Unfortunately, the amazing actor Robin Williams recently passed away. The cause of death was confirmed as suicide. I read something after his death which I believe is true. Robin Williams didn’t take his own life, depression did. If he didn’t suffer from depression he would still be with us now. Depression isn’t a choice. It isn’t feeling sad or fed up for a few hours or days. I hate when people say ‘I feel so depressed’ because they’ve seen a character die on their favourite TV show/Film or because their parents won’t buy them the latest fashion trend or Xbox game. You can’t just snap out of depression which most people think will happen or be given a magic tablet and everything’s fine again. It interferes with how you live and changes your life. For me it changed my whole life. Since leaving school I believe that’s when everything started. I used to have so much confidence at school by the time I left. Unfortunately when the bullying began for me again at college when everyo

Becoming frustrated doesn’t help with my pain and obviously my mood a lot and when the people around you who are supposed to care about you don’t help either it gets a whole lot worse. These last few weeks have been so frustrating and no matter how many times I explain this illness to people or tell them I’m not just going to magically get better overnight they will never understand. People also don’t seem to understand that I’m trying to get better and that I have tried almost every therapy, medication, routine, food, drink, etc. What people STILL don’t seem to understand is that I might look okay to you and be having a laugh with friends but that doesn’t mean everything’s better. Being out with my friends or family I may feel slightly better (otherwise I simply wouldn’t be out) but it means I’m probably sacrificing a decent night’s sleep or a whole day or week after. I’m not going to sit there and constantly say ‘I’m in pain, I’m in pain…’ otherwise what is the point in me l

I haven’t posted for a while, I’m sorry to anyone who’s still interested. I’ve actually been busy for once since my last post. I've been away on holiday for two weeks to Florida which has become my second home over the years. The two weeks were supposedly for some rest but we couldn’t help but go to some of the theme parks and water parks. I ended up coming home ill after the two weeks and had to make another trip into A&E a week later as I wasn't getting any better and you all must know how hard it is to get appointments with GP’s. Me and my mum made our way to A&E around 5am and after being seen by a really lovely team and so quickly too I was sent home being told they thought it was a virus but luckily nothing major wrong with me (not like I needed anything else on top of all this). After this virus finally left my system it was my 21 st birthday which I stupidly decided to have a party (American themed of course, us Spychalski’s don’t throw ordinary partie

Hello to whoever may be reading this, if anyone still is. Basically since my last blog I have been hiding away in my bedroom, lights off, curtains and blinds shut. I have worked out this doesn’t shut out the world, my brother playing music, dad watching football downstairs or my mum from trying to wake you up. But it has left me a lot of time to think. I went to the doctors (again) as I had seen so many doctors recently that I wasn’t sure which medication I was meant to be taking. I have asked for a full copy of all my medical records as I’m not aware of really what they’re putting about me in them and after the amount of times I’ve been I’m kind of hoping for a loophole or something they’ve missed. They gave me a summary for now which I already found several bits of bullshit so we shall see when they send the whole records. But they gave me an account of my blood tests and nothing but my Vitamin D is wrong which irritated me and got me down. This illness is hard enough when t

Helloooooo  This was meant to be a positive blog and I’m sorry it’s so negative but I don’t want to lie and say everything’s fine now. I’m gonna start with the night of 18 th April because until then my legs weren’t as bad since my last blog but they still hurt. As always the pain is there but I felt distracted this week, until Friday the 18 th . My brother had two friends up from Uni staying over and everyone was in bed. I didn’t feel tired so stayed downstairs watching TV until I fell asleep. I woke up at about 2am and decided to go to bed, so I managed to turn everything off and even put the house alarm on. I got what my mum thinks was at least half way up the stairs judging from where my phone was that my legs gave way and I fell down the stairs. I didn’t dare move in case something bad had happened as I could feel more pain than ever but I knew I had hit my back and head. I tried to feel for my phone in my pocket as I had remembered that I put it there but I wasn’t t

Hello again! First of all I want to say thank you to any comments, messages and emails I have received since I started this blog. I didn’t think anyone would even read it. It means a lot to me the amount of support there is and that people understand M.E/CFS and Fibromyalgia even that little bit more. So first I’ll talk about the Lidocaine Infusion I had two weeks ago. Basically I sit in a chair and they hook me up to all the machines that check your heart beat etc. Then they take your blood pressure and weigh you to check everything is okay for you to go ahead with it. Then they put the cannula into your hand and add the drip which slowly for an hour and a half puts the anaesthetic into you. Then they take your blood pressure every 10 minutes whilst you just sit there (bored). After the infusion I didn’t feel any different apart from feeling dizzy. The next day I did think the pain in my arms was better which was good but my legs just seemed to get worse and worse.

Hello  I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write another post but I’ve been so busy for once as my Dad turned 50 last week and my Mum and Dad had a joint birthday party which I have been helping to organise, also I decided it would be a good idea to make my Dad a scrapbook of his whole life (30 years of which I wasn’t even there) and I’m still not finished. Anyway, someone asked me about being bullied and how that means it has affected me with my M.E and Fibromyalgia. As I have said in previous blogs, there is no known cause for M.E or Fibromyalgia but one theory is that besides a virus, which I did have, is that it could be down to stress and anxiety which doctors and specialists believe is due to me being bullied throughout the whole of my school life. So, basically, I don’t remember a year since Year 1 – Year 13(last year of college) in which I wasn’t bullied. There were never the same people and always picked on something different every time, I’m starting to wonder if I

I decided I think I should explain exactly what I have been through with the doctors and hospitals including treatments. As I explained in my post 'The Past 3 Years...' this all started just over 3 years ago now. I started having flu like symptoms just after Christmas 2010 and after seeing the doctors every week I was finally tested about 5 weeks later for Glandular Fever, by this time the doctor said the virus would probably have left my system so my blood tests all came back fine. Unfortunately there was never a definite answer for this mystery illness that started these long, long years. After finally going back to college and completing my A Levels and having my 18th birthday in June 2011 I went back to the doctors after the cold, blocked nose and coughing symptoms had gone but left me still aching all over, mainly in my legs.  At the beginning of August 2011 I went to the doctors AGAIN and I was sent to the 'GUM' department of the Princess Royal Hospital to be