Skip to main content

Pacing Myself.

I haven’t posted for a while, I’m sorry to anyone who’s still interested.

I’ve actually been busy for once since my last post. I've been away on holiday for two weeks to Florida which has become my second home over the years. The two weeks were supposedly for some rest but we couldn’t help but go to some of the theme parks and water parks. I ended up coming home ill after the two weeks and had to make another trip into A&E a week later as I wasn't getting any better and you all must know how hard it is to get appointments with GP’s. Me and my mum made our way to A&E around 5am and after being seen by a really lovely team and so quickly too I was sent home being told they thought it was a virus but luckily nothing major wrong with me (not like I needed anything else on top of all this).

After this virus finally left my system it was my 21st birthday which I stupidly decided to have a party (American themed of course, us Spychalski’s don’t throw ordinary parties) anyway, I say stupidly as I ended up having a panic attack halfway through the night after everyone was supposed to be singing happy birthday to me, as you do, I couldn't bare all these faces staring at me, which I wouldn't have minded 3 years ago but my confidence has just left since.  I didn't even realise how many people I had invited and that didn't even include the didn't even bother to ask’ plus ones. (yes, I was pretty pissed off at this)  As the night went on I finally enjoyed myself, but I don’t think I’ll be having another party for a while, but I wouldn't hold me to that.

Then since the sun has decided to grace us with its presence for the past 3 or 4 weeks and now friends have finished with Uni  I've been pretty busy. Everyone’s been having BBQ’s and days out at the pub in beer gardens etc. It’s been nice, but tiring. Whilst fitting in doctors and hospital appointments I've just about survived it all.

I had my second Lidocaine Infusion which went okay I think. I ended up laughing at myself cause I was so dizzy and couldn't feel one of my arms for about half an hour or so. Longer term effects (about 3-4 weeks) my arms don’t feel in so much pain at the moment. Hopefully I’ll be able to have my next one just before I go to America again so I might not need to use the wheelchair as much.

I've been seeing two different psychologists, one which my mum found privately and one from the NHS. I have to say even though the NHS one is free, I don’t find them helpful at all, I find it a real waste of time. But the one my mum found privately has been really helpful and I’m finally managing to use pacing. I did try pacing before but never really did properly. I've been writing down on a chart what I do every hour and how tired I felt out of 10. (10 being very tired, 1 being not tired at all) I've found that if I spend more than 2 hours doing something without a rest, even if it’s something mental draining, even watching TV or reading, I tend to get more tired and wake up later the next day. It’s quite hard when you go out with mates and you want to go home early and they don’t understand why. I’m still struggling to pace myself as when I have any energy I just want to do everything and it’s so hard to see everyone getting on with things, especially in this weather.

I was also prescribed Tramadol which works so well but I think it also made me feel sick so I’m a bit wary of using it now as I hate the feeling of being sick. Apparently using it with the Pregabalin that I’m also prescribed it works even better. I wouldn't suggest using this unless you've tried everything else as Tramadol can be pretty strong but it seems to be the only thing that has worked for me.

I've also finally been given a Gynaecology Appointment for August 18th to see if I have Endometriosis which I’m really happy about, not that I might have Endo but that I finally after 3 years got an appointment and the GP took me seriously.  
Hopefully I’ll have more to talk about next time as I feel like I've forgotten everything. I think I've left it too long this time.



Popular posts from this blog

When I Eventually Wake Up

I’ve lost track of what day of the week we’re on, what month or season. I’m dripping in sweat, it feels like Summer, but then I’m shivering, so is it Winter? I realise its still daytime from the stream of light peaking through sides of the blinds. The beauty of a sunrise or sunset taken away by the burning in my eyes. The birds singing outside that sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Every car driving past my window, the mumbling through my floorboards of my family watching TV, the postman at the door, the gardener mowing the lawn, all irritating me like an itch that you just can’t scratch.
My chest feels so heavy that I can’t lift it off the mattress, my shoulders pinned down by the invisible weights. My heads pounding and burning like any other young adult would after a long weekend, only mines not self inflicted by over priced cocktails and 99p shots. I lay their in pain from my toes to the top of my head, my legs restless, unable to find a comfortable position even in my cloud like …

30 Years of Mr and Mrs Spychalski

27.06.1987 - Mum and Dad's Wedding Day.
On the 27th of June 1987 was Pamela Robinson and Richard Spychalski's wedding day, soon to be my Mum and Dad. I wasn’t around 30 years ago. People still say it was the best wedding they’d ever been to, that's probably because of the free bottle of vodka they placed on every table.
Mum and Dad lets face it, the six years of marriage without me in it were pretty dull. I must have been the best anniversary gift you’ve ever received the day after your six year anniversary, I guess Dad was pleased he could save money on a gift that year, until he found out I was a girl and realised the small amount of money on a gift for mum is nothing compared to the money spent on a daughter for the rest of his life. You're welcome Dad.
If I’m honest I don’t know how they haven’t both packed up and moved away from me, together or not, although they are on holiday together this week, without me.
My Mum will be up all day and night if she could, researchi…

My Hero, My Idol, My Great Grandma

Today would have been my Great Grandmas 109th birthday. A lot of people probably never met any of their Great Grandparents. I was lucky to have had 18 years with one.
My Great Grandma, was the mother of my Grandma on my mum’s side. Her name was Mary King, but most people knew her as Molly. She past away when she was 103 and a week. That week is very important to me. I didn't even know it would be her last week with us. As a family it wasn't spent worried and preparing ourselves for her final few days, I didn’t even see her that week. 
The last time I saw my Great Grandma was on her 103rd birthday, opening her presents and cards in a care home she’d only spent the last 3 weeks of her life in because until those last three weeks, she lived in the same home she’d lived in for over 80 years.
My 18th birthday was five days after her 103rd. I’d finished college, planned a party for the weekend, I wanted to invite her, although I don’t think a party full of drunk 18 year olds was exactl…