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From Bad to Worse.

Helloooooo 

This was meant to be a positive blog and I’m sorry it’s so negative but I don’t want to lie and say everything’s fine now.

I’m gonna start with the night of 18th April because until then my legs weren’t as bad since my last blog but they still hurt. As always the pain is there but I felt distracted this week, until Friday the 18th. My brother had two friends up from Uni staying over and everyone was in bed. I didn’t feel tired so stayed downstairs watching TV until I fell asleep. I woke up at about 2am and decided to go to bed, so I managed to turn everything off and even put the house alarm on. I got what my mum thinks was at least half way up the stairs judging from where my phone was that my legs gave way and I fell down the stairs.

I didn’t dare move in case something bad had happened as I could feel more pain than ever but I knew I had hit my back and head. I tried to feel for my phone in my pocket as I had remembered that I put it there but I wasn’t there, I felt around for it and still couldn’t find it. I ended up shouting for anyone to come and banging my fists on the floor and front door but no one came for half an hour. Finally my mum and dad came who ended up calling an ambulance. I have never been so scared after they put a neck brace on and gave me morphine I was taken into the ambulance and to the hospital. After everything at the hospital where I was petrified after being taken into Resus they X rayed me and found that I hadn’t broken anything. Before being discharged I thought maybe finally though somewhere here might have an answer, its obvious the morphine worked maybe they have an idea of something I can take that worked just as well but was prescribed but there was no hope, the doctor again had no answers. So I was discharged and taken home. I had never slept so well after that which I am guessing is down to the Morphine. When I woke up I felt so rough and in so much pain.

If there was ever a worse stage I have wanted to give up, this topped them all.

I managed to potter on as always and wanted to as my friend was back from France for the week. I’ve felt rough all week, im guessing for anyone who doesn’t have M.E or Fibro I’ve had what to you would feel like a week-long hangover. Even when out with friends I’ve felt tired and aching but just grit my teeth, I want to try be strong but other days I’ve just been in bed all day with the blinds and curtains shut in the dark. My eyes can’t bare the light most days now so if you see me wearing sunglasses even if it’s not that sunny or indoors then you know why I’m not just pretending to be some celebrity.

I started acupuncture the day I fell down the stairs and I’ve had my second session but I haven’t felt any benefit at all, it just makes me feel dizzy and to be honest it hurt having the needles in which may be my low pain threshold. I had the needles put into my feet, legs, hands, wrists and head. I couldn’t relax at all like you’re supposed to so maybe that didn’t help.

I have achieved a few things this week like going out for a meal with friends and then to watch my brother play at Herbert’s Bar again in town. Also watching my Dad’s football team win their final game and win the cup. I went for a spray tan, even with my body issues the woman who does my tans always put me at ease. I don’t care what people say or think about fake tan, but it cheered me up having some colour in my face and body and not looking like Casper.

Today I managed to WALK the whole way round the Coronation Street Tour with my mum which was a good two hours, I did sit down every now and then and my legs are dying right now but it felt good not having to use the wheelchair and I don’t think I could have taken it on those cobbles and poor mum having to push.

I hope this has shown that even though things got so bad for me I still managed to keep on going.

Again, I’m sorry for not replying to any emails but my brain just fogs up every time I try reply and then I forget.

Please do email or comment though and I WILL eventually reply.


Natasha xx

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