Skip to main content

From Bad to Worse.


This was meant to be a positive blog and I’m sorry it’s so negative but I don’t want to lie and say everything’s fine now.

I’m gonna start with the night of 18th April because until then my legs weren’t as bad since my last blog but they still hurt. As always the pain is there but I felt distracted this week, until Friday the 18th. My brother had two friends up from Uni staying over and everyone was in bed. I didn’t feel tired so stayed downstairs watching TV until I fell asleep. I woke up at about 2am and decided to go to bed, so I managed to turn everything off and even put the house alarm on. I got what my mum thinks was at least half way up the stairs judging from where my phone was that my legs gave way and I fell down the stairs.

I didn’t dare move in case something bad had happened as I could feel more pain than ever but I knew I had hit my back and head. I tried to feel for my phone in my pocket as I had remembered that I put it there but I wasn’t there, I felt around for it and still couldn’t find it. I ended up shouting for anyone to come and banging my fists on the floor and front door but no one came for half an hour. Finally my mum and dad came who ended up calling an ambulance. I have never been so scared after they put a neck brace on and gave me morphine I was taken into the ambulance and to the hospital. After everything at the hospital where I was petrified after being taken into Resus they X rayed me and found that I hadn’t broken anything. Before being discharged I thought maybe finally though somewhere here might have an answer, its obvious the morphine worked maybe they have an idea of something I can take that worked just as well but was prescribed but there was no hope, the doctor again had no answers. So I was discharged and taken home. I had never slept so well after that which I am guessing is down to the Morphine. When I woke up I felt so rough and in so much pain.

If there was ever a worse stage I have wanted to give up, this topped them all.

I managed to potter on as always and wanted to as my friend was back from France for the week. I’ve felt rough all week, im guessing for anyone who doesn’t have M.E or Fibro I’ve had what to you would feel like a week-long hangover. Even when out with friends I’ve felt tired and aching but just grit my teeth, I want to try be strong but other days I’ve just been in bed all day with the blinds and curtains shut in the dark. My eyes can’t bare the light most days now so if you see me wearing sunglasses even if it’s not that sunny or indoors then you know why I’m not just pretending to be some celebrity.

I started acupuncture the day I fell down the stairs and I’ve had my second session but I haven’t felt any benefit at all, it just makes me feel dizzy and to be honest it hurt having the needles in which may be my low pain threshold. I had the needles put into my feet, legs, hands, wrists and head. I couldn’t relax at all like you’re supposed to so maybe that didn’t help.

I have achieved a few things this week like going out for a meal with friends and then to watch my brother play at Herbert’s Bar again in town. Also watching my Dad’s football team win their final game and win the cup. I went for a spray tan, even with my body issues the woman who does my tans always put me at ease. I don’t care what people say or think about fake tan, but it cheered me up having some colour in my face and body and not looking like Casper.

Today I managed to WALK the whole way round the Coronation Street Tour with my mum which was a good two hours, I did sit down every now and then and my legs are dying right now but it felt good not having to use the wheelchair and I don’t think I could have taken it on those cobbles and poor mum having to push.

I hope this has shown that even though things got so bad for me I still managed to keep on going.

Again, I’m sorry for not replying to any emails but my brain just fogs up every time I try reply and then I forget.

Please do email or comment though and I WILL eventually reply.

Natasha xx


  1. I became your blog reader. I am so sorry to hear that you're not feeling well. Though I must say you look stunning - the photo with your friends and the second with your mum- you both look great! It seems to me your mum hasn't changed at all since I met her somewhere around 1998 actually you were also there. I kind of remember a small blond girl running around the house. Nice memory. All the best for you hope the pain goes away


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When I Eventually Wake Up

I’ve lost track of what day of the week we’re on, what month or season. I’m dripping in sweat, it feels like Summer, but then I’m shivering, so is it Winter? I realise its still daytime from the stream of light peaking through sides of the blinds. The beauty of a sunrise or sunset taken away by the burning in my eyes. The birds singing outside that sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Every car driving past my window, the mumbling through my floorboards of my family watching TV, the postman at the door, the gardener mowing the lawn, all irritating me like an itch that you just can’t scratch.
My chest feels so heavy that I can’t lift it off the mattress, my shoulders pinned down by the invisible weights. My heads pounding and burning like any other young adult would after a long weekend, only mines not self inflicted by over priced cocktails and 99p shots. I lay their in pain from my toes to the top of my head, my legs restless, unable to find a comfortable position even in my cloud like …

30 Years of Mr and Mrs Spychalski

27.06.1987 - Mum and Dad's Wedding Day.
On the 27th of June 1987 was Pamela Robinson and Richard Spychalski's wedding day, soon to be my Mum and Dad. I wasn’t around 30 years ago. People still say it was the best wedding they’d ever been to, that's probably because of the free bottle of vodka they placed on every table.
Mum and Dad lets face it, the six years of marriage without me in it were pretty dull. I must have been the best anniversary gift you’ve ever received the day after your six year anniversary, I guess Dad was pleased he could save money on a gift that year, until he found out I was a girl and realised the small amount of money on a gift for mum is nothing compared to the money spent on a daughter for the rest of his life. You're welcome Dad.
If I’m honest I don’t know how they haven’t both packed up and moved away from me, together or not, although they are on holiday together this week, without me.
My Mum will be up all day and night if she could, researchi…

My Hero, My Idol, My Great Grandma

Today would have been my Great Grandmas 109th birthday. A lot of people probably never met any of their Great Grandparents. I was lucky to have had 18 years with one.
My Great Grandma, was the mother of my Grandma on my mum’s side. Her name was Mary King, but most people knew her as Molly. She past away when she was 103 and a week. That week is very important to me. I didn't even know it would be her last week with us. As a family it wasn't spent worried and preparing ourselves for her final few days, I didn’t even see her that week. 
The last time I saw my Great Grandma was on her 103rd birthday, opening her presents and cards in a care home she’d only spent the last 3 weeks of her life in because until those last three weeks, she lived in the same home she’d lived in for over 80 years.
My 18th birthday was five days after her 103rd. I’d finished college, planned a party for the weekend, I wanted to invite her, although I don’t think a party full of drunk 18 year olds was exactl…