Skip to main content

10 Things to NEVER say to someone with a Chronic Illness.

This is the last time I will be boring you with the issues in my life, at least for 2014 anyway. 

First of all, MERRY CHRISTMAS! i know its a little late but we’re still within the 12 days of Christmas so I think its okay. Is it seven swans a swimming? My friend Jack should know.

Since my last post not a great deal has happened in the shape of progress with this pointless illness. I’ve barely seen my doctor since last time which I’m sure they are pretty happy about. I’ve come to realise there isn’t much point until after the keyhole surgery in the new year anyway as they don’t know what to do next. 

In a way I’m hoping they do find something because then I know what the hell is going on. Also I’m hoping it isn't Endometriosis and that I’m able to have kids in the future but then I won’t have any idea what is wrong with me in that case. One thing for sure is that I am absolutely petrified about the surgery. I don’t care what anyone says, it may be only keyhole surgery but its still surgery I would rather not be having. I’m still going to be put to sleep and have some incisions made for the surgeon to have a ‘root around’ lets hope the camera isn't hooked up to youtube or anything. 

Whatever happens with this surgery, I'm not going to come back out fit as a fiddle, or whatever the daft saying is. It’s not going to ‘cure’ me. Thats the thing with M.E/CFS there is no known cure. I cant stress this enough. I’d love for in 2015 not only to hopefully regain some sort of normality back but to also raise awareness of M.E/CFS. The most annoying thing ever is that other people don't understand it. So here are a few things to NEVER say to someone with M.E/CFS, Fibromyalgia or anybody with a chronic illness. 

1. It’s all in your head, just take some anti-depressants. 
(yes, some people with chronic illnesses will take anti-depressants like me, but the illness came first, then the depression)

2. You’ll get over it soon.
(NO! You can not just ‘get over it’ its not just flu, take a few paracetamol or ibuprofen and you’ll be fine this time next week. It can take years to find something that works for you and relieve even the slightest bit of pain.)

3. You’re just lazy, just go to bed early.
(Personally I could sleep longer than a new born baby does in a day and still feel like I haven't slept at all)

4. You look fine/You look a lot better
(Just because you can’t see it doesn't mean its not there. Also if I didn’t feel a little better that day I wouldn’t have left the house and, like I would leave the house dressed like a tramp and wearing no make-up… you also don’t know that my mum had to dry my hair and help me with my make-up because I was in so much pain and tired)

5. I’m tired today, I know how you feel/My arm hurts today, I know how you feel.
(No, no you don’t! Most of the time people who say this to me I have no sympathy for what so ever, especially if its a self inflicted hangover. This is when I can’t control my sarcasm)

6. You have it so easy not having to work and being in bed all day.
(There is nothing more frustrating than waking up in the afternoon realising you’ve wasted a whole day in bed. It is not easy. If I could be at work or uni like everyone else I would be)

7. You’re too young to be sick.
(Really? I mean how can people be so dumb?)

8. You just need to exercise.
(This can actually make things worse. Most people don’t understand how people with chronic illnesses have to pace themselves and doing too much can leave you in bed for weeks.)

9. Does this hurt? *whilst prodding you all over your arms, legs, etc.*
(YES, YES IT HURTS! SO STOP DOING IT!, even the slightest touch hurts me sometimes, why would you even do this to someone?)

10. Are you better yet? …*a week later*… Are you better yet?
(oh yeah, well the Tooth Fairy came waved a magic wand, then the Easter Bunny popped in for a cuppa 
tea and finally Father flippin' Christmas dropped by with a new body for me… have you got any common sense yet?)

So next time you speak to ANYONE with ANY chronic illness just have a think or even read this again because you could be the difference between whether or not someone can be bothered to even try getting better. Its hard enough having to find what works for you without having to worry if you’re friends and family are there for you. Having a chronic illness can be pretty lonely sometimes. Think before you speak or simply ask them, I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to explain. 

Natasha 
Xoxo

Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR. See you in 2015 kids!

Facebook - facebook.com/NJSpychalski
Twitter - twitter.com/NJSpychalski

Email - natasha_spychalski_1@hotmail.com

Popular posts from this blog

When I Eventually Wake Up

I’ve lost track of what day of the week we’re on, what month or season. I’m dripping in sweat, it feels like Summer, but then I’m shivering, so is it Winter? I realise its still daytime from the stream of light peaking through sides of the blinds. The beauty of a sunrise or sunset taken away by the burning in my eyes. The birds singing outside that sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Every car driving past my window, the mumbling through my floorboards of my family watching TV, the postman at the door, the gardener mowing the lawn, all irritating me like an itch that you just can’t scratch.
My chest feels so heavy that I can’t lift it off the mattress, my shoulders pinned down by the invisible weights. My heads pounding and burning like any other young adult would after a long weekend, only mines not self inflicted by over priced cocktails and 99p shots. I lay their in pain from my toes to the top of my head, my legs restless, unable to find a comfortable position even in my cloud like …

30 Years of Mr and Mrs Spychalski

27.06.1987 - Mum and Dad's Wedding Day.
On the 27th of June 1987 was Pamela Robinson and Richard Spychalski's wedding day, soon to be my Mum and Dad. I wasn’t around 30 years ago. People still say it was the best wedding they’d ever been to, that's probably because of the free bottle of vodka they placed on every table.
Mum and Dad lets face it, the six years of marriage without me in it were pretty dull. I must have been the best anniversary gift you’ve ever received the day after your six year anniversary, I guess Dad was pleased he could save money on a gift that year, until he found out I was a girl and realised the small amount of money on a gift for mum is nothing compared to the money spent on a daughter for the rest of his life. You're welcome Dad.
If I’m honest I don’t know how they haven’t both packed up and moved away from me, together or not, although they are on holiday together this week, without me.
My Mum will be up all day and night if she could, researchi…

My Hero, My Idol, My Great Grandma

Today would have been my Great Grandmas 109th birthday. A lot of people probably never met any of their Great Grandparents. I was lucky to have had 18 years with one.
My Great Grandma, was the mother of my Grandma on my mum’s side. Her name was Mary King, but most people knew her as Molly. She past away when she was 103 and a week. That week is very important to me. I didn't even know it would be her last week with us. As a family it wasn't spent worried and preparing ourselves for her final few days, I didn’t even see her that week. 
The last time I saw my Great Grandma was on her 103rd birthday, opening her presents and cards in a care home she’d only spent the last 3 weeks of her life in because until those last three weeks, she lived in the same home she’d lived in for over 80 years.
My 18th birthday was five days after her 103rd. I’d finished college, planned a party for the weekend, I wanted to invite her, although I don’t think a party full of drunk 18 year olds was exactl…