I thought every month I’d do a health update. This was the reason I started this whole blog in the first place and I want to still raise awareness of the illnesses I have even if no one really cares.
I think the last time I mentioned anything about what I was up to health wise, I was having acupuncture. Yeah, this didn’t work, at all. I waited about 63 weeks, even though the letter I received said a maximum of 18 weeks. It was the most pointless thing ever. I sat on the most uncomfortable chair in a little side room with one needle in my left knee and four in my right (three of which he stuck in my left knee first for like 2 seconds?) I was then left in this room with my mum or one time my brother with my mum being away. I waited about 5 minutes before he’d come and take them out and then that was it.
After my four sessions I was reviewed and offered lidocaine infusions. Yes, if you’ve been reading my blog a while you’ll know I was already receiving the infusions but had heard nothing for months for another appointment. This doctor was the one who even gave me the infusions in the first place. He also sat there with my notes in front of him which if he had read them he would have known I already had them. This was all he could seem to come up with again but told me I’d have to wait another 5 months for my next one. I was supposed to be having them every two months now and my last one was November. My mum and I left deflated and not in the mood for an argument leaving it for another day and realising we probably wouldn't get anywhere anyway.
I’m currently waiting to see my gynaecologist who I was supposed to see 6-8 weeks after my surgery but it will be 6 months since my surgery when I next see her next week so my GP’s had to complain about that. It’s just a massive mess and my illness isn’t taken seriously at all. You, doctors, family, friends might not take it seriously because its not a ‘life threatening illness’ but i’m losing life right now. I feel like Sirius Black in the Prisoner of Azkaban every time I see someone ‘I did my waiting four years of it!!’ (yes, i know he says 12 but fortunately i’m not there, yet)
I’m pretty much bed bound again apart from the odd birthday do, meal out or trip to the cinema. People keep asking me what I do, what uni i’m at, what I’m gonna do when I’m better. I keep getting the ‘You’re looking well’ ‘You look a lot better’ ‘Are you better yet?’ It’s amazing what a bit of fake tan and make up does to you! It’s draining and I think it’s contributed to feeling worse lately. I’m tired of being tired. I’m sick of being sick.
I wanted my blog to be a positive place, a place where I could explain and educate people about my illnesses and it’s just turned into a negative mess. There is nothing positive about these illnesses, not in my case anyway. I’ve tried to be positive and believe that people understand but they really don’t. You think you’re finally getting through to people and then they’ll just say one little stupid thing. You’ll have one good positive day and get something done but then the rest of the week is just, just pointless and wasted in bed. It’s dark, lonely and suck the god damn life out of you.
I’m sorry this hasn’t ended on a high note and it’s not very inspiring or anything but its the truth.
Hopefully next week will be better.
Take care, I’ll see you Monday.