I’ve lost track of what day of the week we’re on, what month or season. I’m dripping in sweat, it feels like Summer, but then I’m shivering, so is it Winter? I realise its still daytime from the stream of light peaking through sides of the blinds. The beauty of a sunrise or sunset taken away by the burning in my eyes. The birds singing outside that sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Every car driving past my window, the mumbling through my floorboards of my family watching TV, the postman at the door, the gardener mowing the lawn, all irritating me like an itch that you just can’t scratch. My chest feels so heavy that I can’t lift it off the mattress, my shoulders pinned down by the invisible weights. My heads pounding and burning like any other young adult would after a long weekend, only mines not self inflicted by over priced cocktails and 99p shots. I lay their in pain from my toes to the top of my head, my legs restless, unable to find a comfortable position even in my cloud
27.06.1987 - Mum and Dad's Wedding Day. On the 27th of June 1987 was Pamela Robinson and Richard Spychalski's wedding day, soon to be my Mum and Dad. I wasn’t around 30 years ago. People still say it was the best wedding they’d ever been to, that's probably because of the free bottle of vodka they placed on every table. Mum and Dad lets face it, the six years of marriage without me in it were pretty dull. I must have been the best anniversary gift you’ve ever received the day after your six year anniversary, I guess Dad was pleased he could save money on a gift that year, until he found out I was a girl and realised the small amount of money on a gift for mum is nothing compared to the money spent on a daughter for the rest of his life. You're welcome Dad. If I’m honest I don’t know how they haven’t both packed up and moved away from me, together or not, although they are on holiday together this week, without me. My Mum will be up all day and night