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When I Eventually Wake Up

I’ve lost track of what day of the week we’re on, what month or season. I’m dripping in sweat, it feels like Summer, but then I’m shivering, so is it Winter? I realise its still daytime from the stream of light peaking through sides of the blinds. The beauty of a sunrise or sunset taken away by the burning in my eyes. The birds singing outside that sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Every car driving past my window, the mumbling through my floorboards of my family watching TV, the postman at the door, the gardener mowing the lawn, all irritating me like an itch that you just can’t scratch. My chest feels so heavy that I can’t lift it off the mattress, my shoulders pinned down by the invisible weights. My heads pounding and burning like any other young adult would after a long weekend, only mines not self inflicted by over priced cocktails and 99p shots. I lay their in pain from my toes to the top of my head, my legs restless, unable to find a comfortable position even in my cloud
Recent posts

30 Years of Mr and Mrs Spychalski

27.06.1987 - Mum and Dad's Wedding Day. On the 27th of June 1987 was Pamela Robinson and Richard Spychalski's wedding day, soon to be my Mum and Dad. I wasn’t around 30 years ago. People still say it was the best wedding they’d ever been to, that's probably because of the free bottle of vodka they placed on every table. Mum and Dad lets face it, the six years of marriage without me in it were pretty dull. I must have been the best anniversary gift you’ve ever received the day after your six year anniversary, I guess Dad was pleased he could save money on a gift that year, until he found out I was a girl and realised the small amount of money on a gift for mum is nothing compared to the money spent on a daughter for the rest of his life. You're welcome Dad. If I’m honest I don’t know how they haven’t both packed up and moved away from me, together or not, although they are on holiday together this week, without me. My Mum will be up all day and night

My Hero, My Idol, My Great Grandma

Today would have been my Great Grandmas 109th birthday. A lot of people probably never met any of their Great Grandparents. I was lucky to have had 18 years with one. My Great Grandma, was the mother of my Grandma on my mum’s side. Her name was Mary King, but most people knew her as Molly. She past away when she was 103 and a week. That week is very important to me. I didn't even know it would be her last week with us. As a family it wasn't spent worried and preparing ourselves for her final few days, I didn’t even see her that week.  The last time I saw my Great Grandma was on her 103rd birthday, opening her presents and cards in a care home she’d only spent the last 3 weeks of her life in because until those last three weeks, she lived in the same home she’d lived in for over 80 years. My 18th birthday was five days after her 103rd. I’d finished college, planned a party for the weekend, I wanted to invite her, although I don’t think a party full of drunk 18

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Preview - Review

(I wrote this a few weeks ago now, sorry it's taken so long to upload, ENJOY!) For Christmas I was lucky enough to receive a pair of tickets for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child in the West End. (cheers Santa!) For anyone like me who grew up around the Harry Potter books and films I’m sure you’d be just as eager as I was to find out what happened next. I purposely avoided reviews and ignored all speculation. I hadn't really thought about what would happen or what I wanted to happen and to be able to go in not expecting anything in particular. I was excited to be seeing a preview and also pretty smug about the whole world not knowing what happens until the official opening and book release at the end of July. I don't want to give away any spoilers, you’re asked #KeepTheSecrets and as far as I’ve seen since seeing the show is everyones kept them. Also no one really wants to know, even if you say you do, you don’t really.  One of the unique factors about

You Don't Look Disabled, You're Not In A Wheelchair

‘Attacking people with disabilities is the lowest display of power I can think of’ I recently read and shared a post on Facebook about a woman from Australia, who was parked in a disabled space with a valid blue badge and had been left a note reading ‘Did you forget your wheelchair??’. I knew some people were stupid but I just didn’t realise how much.  Justine, the woman who was left the horrible note, is only 41 years old but unfortunately suffers from M.S. As you know I suffer from M.E. which just like M.S. it is an invisible illness. It frustrates me how just because you seem fine on the outside people assume you can’t be disabled. Justine had gone shopping with her daughter with what she thought was a good day for her. I know how this can be, you’ll still be in pain, tired, etc but its the best your day will get, you’ll get all geared up to leave the house and actually go out that simple things like having a blue badge can help you so much. I use mine on good days to help

A Little Update & A New Layout!

I’m back! Yes, I said I’d be blogging a lot in Florida and yes, I said I’d blog three times a week since July but yes, I’ve massively failed thanks to my illness. As my way to say sorry I have a new layout to please your eyes! I’m still gonna be tweaking it here and there but it’s looking a hell of a lot better. I was so excited to blog about Halloween and everything but I’ve just been so ill and even worse since I got home over a week ago now, so ill I don’t think I’ve left the house since.  I’ve also been going through private messaged and emails and replying to them all. It’s so good to hear from so many people and hear your words of support. It’s also been amazing to receive messages from other people in similar situations health wise and share treatments and doctors stories.  I’m planning so many more blogs leading up to christmas hopefully full of baking, crafts, present ideas and other festive ideas. I’m already listening to Christmas songs, I even made my mum liste

Update in Florida

Hello Strangers! It’s been a few months since I last blogged. I’ve been pretty ill and tired and now I’m in Florida! I’ve been in Florida since the 16th of September so exactly three weeks now. I came here with my Mum for some rest for 2 months and to get away from everything back home. My Dad’s here now for two weeks too. I’ve been pretty busy here so I wondered if there was anything anyone would like me to tell them about or tips and advice or reviews on anything?  It’s been tough recently and there’s been some big changes to my life personally. I’ve also had problems with certain people and there negative comments about my illness too. I just can’t understand why people could be so rude and want to hurt someone like that. How can you not think in your head that you wouldn’t like it if you were in this situation? It’s been so good to get away from people like that and just have a rest without feeling neighbours or strangers are thinking I’m lazy or not even ill.